You have seen it done often in the movies and probably on the street in darkened corners. The French kiss is a timeless and passionate gesture of romantic affection. Whether you live in Paris, France, or Paris, Texas, you can learn how to kiss like the French do without an embarrassing faux pas!
Moisten your lips. Dry lips do not move well together. Just a light brush of your tongue over your lips right before you kiss will be sufficient to moisten them. Don’t lick your lips all the time, though, as this can dry them out further. Instead, use lip balm regularly. You never know when someone will go in for the smooch.
Slowly brush your lips. Slightly open your lips a little way and in between your lips, keep your partner’s lower or upper lip, and brush it slowly. This will produce a pleasant sensation.
Angle your face. If your mouths meet dead-on, your noses will get in the way, and you will not be able to kiss deeply or smoothly. To avoid this, tilt your head slightly to one side. Make sure you do not both tilt your heads to the same side.
Close your eyes. As you approach for the kiss, look into your partner’s eyes, but, once you are close to theirs, close your eyes. It can be a bit of a turnoff to be kissing and going cross-eyed or seeing triplicate. However, you don’t need to always close your eyes; some people enjoy keeping their eyes open and seeing their partner when kissing.
Start with a gentle and soft closed-mouth kiss. The French kiss is an open-mouth kiss, but do not lunge in with your lips agape like you’re going to eat your partner; instead, open your lips very slowly. If you were learning to speak French, you would probably start with the basics, vocabulary and grammar, before trying to write poetry. Well, the French kiss is like the poetry of kissing, and before you can be good at it, you have to master the closed-mouth kiss. Even after you have added French kissing to your romantic repertoire, it is usually better to start a kiss with closed lips.
Go Dutch on the decision to French. Kissing should be a shared decision. You need to have permission to French kiss someone, but when your lips are locked with theirs you may not want to stop and ask, “Hey, this is great, but can I put my tongue in your mouth?” Open your lips slowly and just a little during the kiss so that one of your lips is sandwiched between theirs and one of theirs is between yours. As you are locking and re-locking lips, brush your tongue against your partner’s lips ever so slightly. This should make it clear that you want to French kiss. If your partner’s tongue does not respond in like fashion or if they pull away, you will have to save the French kiss for another time when you are both ready.
Explore with your tongue. If you and your partner seem to be enjoying the open-mouth kiss, slowly try to open your mouth a little bit more and gently push your tongue a little farther into their mouth. The tongue is very sensitive, and the mere act of touching your partner’s tongue with your own will be very pleasant. Do not stick your tongue too far into the mouth, as this can be a big turn-off. Instead, just gently and playfully touch tongues. Start lightly. Usually, if the other person wants more, they will come and get it.
Go slow. Passionate kisses are good sometimes, but to really enjoy a French kiss, you must take it slowly. Do not hurry and instead, take time to explore each other’s mouths.
Breathe. If you’re kissing for an extended period, it’s easy to forget to breathe. Believe it or not, gasping and turning blue is not romantic. Take small breaths through your nose as you kiss. As you and your partner grow comfortable with the kiss, you can try breathing through your mouth a little: sharing breaths as well can be romantic (but not everybody likes it).
Mix it up. Kisses are like snowflakes: no two are exactly the same. Once you feel comfortable French kissing someone, it is tempting to try to do the same thing every time. Add variety. Sometimes kiss deeper, for example, and other times pay more attention to the lips than the tongue. Hold the kiss longer or shorter and explore the art of kissing.
Use your hands. While you should keep your hands polite, especially on a first kiss, you don’t necessarily want them just dangling at your sides. As a general rule, start with your hands on your partner’s hips and then slowly move them around their back or up to the face and hair. Another turn on for the first kiss is to gently caress their shoulder while you kiss. It shows you are comfortable with him or her. Gently hold your partner’s face with your hands on their cheeks and their neck, or wrap your arms around your partner in an embrace.
Everybody kisses a little differently, and each person enjoys different things in a kiss – there is no “right” way to kiss. What separates good kissers from bad is an ability to read a partner’s body language and to be responsive to their partner. Of course, if your partner pulls away or seems uncomfortable at any time, understand that you have to slow it down. Good kissing requires give-and-take, so read your partner’s body language and pay attention to clues (sighs or moans) that tell you you’re doing something he or she likes. Let your partner kiss you back, and move with him or her as long as you’re comfortable with what he or she is doing. Listen for clues that tell how much your partner is enjoying a particular kissing maneuver. If you hear a sigh or moan, or they begin kissing you back with increased intensity, realize that they are responding with fervor.
Develop your style. Good French kissing, like good kissing of any kind, requires practice. You will get better as you do it more. In addition, the more practice you have with one person, the more comfortable you will feel kissing them and developing a style that suits both of you.
Talk about it. A lot of people have difficulty talking about intimacy, but open communication is important to all parts of a relationship. If you really like the way your partner kisses you, let them know. If you don’t like something, also let your partner know that, but approach it delicately and compliment them at the same time on something they did that you liked. Even if the kiss goes all wrong, it can still be an intimate affair if you can both laugh about it together! Make sure when you kiss you are having fun doing what you are doing. And don’t kiss just anyone; make sure it is with someone that you really like and care about.